Let’s be real—starting therapy can be a big step, and sometimes, you might find yourself sitting across from a therapist thinking, “I’m not sure this is working for me.” Maybe they said something you disagreed with. Maybe their advice didn’t sit right with you. Or maybe it just feels like they don’t quite “get” you.
First things first: that’s okay! Therapy is a deeply personal experience, and not every therapist will be the perfect match for every client. But before you start scrolling through Google looking for a new provider, let’s talk about what you can do when things don’t feel quite right.
Therapists Are Not Mind Readers (Seriously, We’re Not!)
Contrary to what movies and TV shows might suggest, therapists can’t magically analyze your entire life story just by watching your body language or listening to a few sentences. We work hard to understand our clients, but we aren’t superhuman—we don’t always get it right on the first try.
That’s why at Family Behavioral Health Network (FBHN), we practice something called Feedback-Informed Therapy. That means we don’t just assume we’re doing a great job—we actively ask for feedback to make sure we’re on the right track.
Each session, we encourage clients to reflect on things like:
✅ Did your therapist really listen to you?
✅ Did they seem to understand the problem you wanted to talk about?
✅ Did the conversation focus on what was important to you?
✅ Did you feel like the actual session was helpful?
If the answer to any of these questions is “not really” or even a flat-out “nope,” we want to know!
When Something Feels Off, Speak Up!
It can be tough to open up to a stranger about personal struggles, and even tougher to tell that stranger, “Hey, I don’t think you’re getting what I’m saying.” But trust us, a good therapist wants to know when something isn’t working.
If your therapist says something that upsets you, gives advice that doesn’t sit well, or just doesn’t seem to understand where you’re coming from, here’s what you can do:
1. Talk to Your Therapist First
The best way to improve therapy is to talk about therapy. If something felt off, just say so! A simple “I don’t think that advice will work for me” or “That didn’t quite match my experience” can open the door to a better conversation. You don’t have to sugarcoat it—therapists want to adjust to what works for you.
2. Be Honest About What You Need
Sometimes, therapy can feel frustrating simply because expectations aren’t clear. If you prefer more structure, more coping strategies, or more time to just vent, let your therapist know. Good therapy is a two-way street, and your input helps shape the experience.
3. Give It a Few Sessions (But Trust Your Gut)
It can take a few meetings to build rapport, and some awkwardness at the start is normal. However, if after several sessions you still feel unheard, uncomfortable, or just not connected, it’s okay to move on.
4. Find the Right Fit (And We’ll Help!)
Not every therapist is the right therapist for you, and that’s nothing personal. Sometimes, you may need a provider who better understands you culturally, spiritually, or intellectually. A good therapist—and we like to think we have some pretty great ones at FBHN—will accept that and help you find a better match.
We genuinely want you to have a positive experience with therapy. If that means “shopping around” a little, that’s totally okay! The most important thing is that you get the help you need in a way that works for you.
Feedback Makes Us Better
At FBHN, we don’t just accept feedback—we encourage it! Our goal is to provide a therapy experience that feels helpful, supportive, and productive. So if something isn’t working, tell us.
We’re not here to be perfect—we’re here to help. And sometimes, the best way to do that is to listen, learn, and adjust.
So, if you’ve ever left a session feeling unsure, uncomfortable, or just a little “meh” about the experience, know that you have options—and we’re happy to help you explore them.
Ready to Talk? We’re Ready to Listen.
If you have questions, concerns, or just want to learn more about how we do therapy at FBHN, reach out! We’re here to support you in finding the best fit for your mental health journey.